Welcome to this May Negotiators Briefing.


What’s the difference that makes the difference that you can make?

There are two ways to look at this question – 

  1. In how we conduct ourselves!
  2. In how we can help others!

Helping others is the most rewarding, according to behavioural scientists.


Because it creates endorphins, one of the feel good hormones.


Here are five of the takeaways from the summary flips charts on the masterclass we ran in Inverness two weeks ago.  
They are worth considering.

  1. Learn how to manage conflict in a calm and confident way that creates a win win.
    (Negotiation always creates a degree of conflict. It’s how you handle the conflict that makes a difference)
  2. Have a check list before a negotiation.
    (Check lists are good for any type of leadership challenges we are faced with. None of us can remember everything!)
  3. Understand your unique selling points USP’s and maximise them to add value for others.
    (Many people and companies underestimate their own USP’s or don’t even consider them)
  4. Read body language and manage your own body language to influence others
    (We often overlook the impact our body language has on others)
  5. Be aware of the variables. These are small inexpensive items, which can add lots of value to your business partners and costs very little.
    (We all have variables. Stop, think outside the box, and list your variables. It will help your negotiating results and help close sales)


A fantastic podcast with Patricia Fripp.  Patricia discusses the use of specific language which has a real positive effect when persuading people.

Patricia Fripp interviewed about language that has a positive affect on persuading people
Patricia Fripp

In this information packed session, we drill down into the disadvantage of sloppy language, how words open pictures in our mind and how those pictures affect our behaviour. Why not download it and listen when you get some travelling time. Podcast


Having been bought a ticket for my birthday. I was intrigued by how the evening would run. Michelle was interviewed on stage for 90 minutes, it worked well. 

Here are nine of my takeaways.

An ABC TV news reporter interviewed Michelle on stage. It was well conducted, humorous and informative.

She was referring to her responsibilities, however cleverly suggesting it was the responsibly of everyone.

  1. You are there to lead!
  2. You have to help people to step up.
  3. People should be accountable for what they put out there!
  4. People cannot be as mean to your face, as on social media.
  5. Shut news off. You can’t have a sole diet of negativity.
  6. We have an obligation to keep people positive.
  7. We have a duty to plant seeds of success.
  8. Fear is an instant hit of a drug!
  9. What will you be remembered for?

We all go high and low. Going high you need to think first!


WHEN – (The scientific secrets of perfect timing) by sales and motivation expert, Daniel Pink.

When - the scientific secrets of perfect timing

Daniel Pink explains the scientific truth about why judges are more lenient after a break, minds are more vigilant in the morning and why we should “Surf the waves of the day, not fight them”.

For a bullet point summary and some actions points we might use.

Judges are more lenient after break
Less Happy in afternoon

A summary of this intriguing book I saw and instinctively bought in Foyles, the world famous book store, in Charing Cross Road, London a couple of weeks ago

Here are 9 techniques, which we can all use.

  1. Larks v Owls. We are generally one or the other.
  2. Minds are more vigilant in the morning.
  3. Beginnings matter so much. If it not going well, restart it.
  4. Moods are internal states.
  5. Judges are more lenient after breaks. When blood sugar levels rise. People were more likely to get parole at 9.00am than 11.45
  6. “Nappochino” – 10-20 minutes naps are the most rejuvenating. Coffee takes 25 minutes.
  7. Linguistic enquiry and word counter LIWC– Twitter. Study of 500 million tweets. Positive words are more prevalent in the morning.
  8. Micro-bursts of activity – 5 minutes every hour. Boosts energy, sharpens focus, improves moods.
  9. FINALLY – Surf the waves of the day, don’t fight them.

Send me an email if you would like any further of my thoughts on Daniel Pink’s ideas


How to use the “How are things?” question.

Winston Marsh is the number one Australian marketing and sales guru.
He has featured in our www.negotiatorspodcast.com last year.

I saw the “How are things” question in his newsletter this week and
thought you would like his explanation.

Here is the reason it is so powerful.
Winston Marsh Australian

Very useful ideas – CALLING your existing clients.

I had a card which I appreciated recently from Michael Kelly, a long standing colleague in the speaking business and a brilliant communication expert and trainer (www.michaelkelly.com.au).

It read:

“Long time no talk. I thought of you the other day as I was doing my “how’s things?” phone calls to clients and business friends – which as usual produced face-to-face meetings. Thanks again for this valuable idea!”

Of all the many ideas I’ve shared with countless people over the years I think this has been the simplest and most effective of them all. It’s amazing how often I get somebody saying thank you and remarking on how well it’s worked for them.

The “how’s things?” call is one of those techniques every professional should use. It works beautifully for accountants, it works splendidly for lawyers and is dynamite for doctors and dentists. It works for everybody. In fact, if you’re not using it you should be.

So at the risk of repeating myself but in the hope it may help you, here is how it works.

The “how’s things?” call is just superb. To make it happen in any business the bottom line requirements are simple:
You make an investment of 15 minutes every day.
In that 15 minutes you make one or two phone calls.
If you make that phone call each day it is virtually certain that by the end of the year you will have a huge increase in income! More sales with very little extra overhead.

So it’s substantial.
How does it work?
Very simple.

Each day at a time to suit you, you rule off 15 minutes in your diary for a “how’s things?” phone call.
At that time you telephone one or two clients that you don’t need to phone to simply ask “how’s things?”
That’s all there is to it. You see most business people are reactive rather than proactive. No news is good news is the general axiom.

Yet the biggest complaint clients have about the people they do business with is that “they only hear from them when they want something.”

So if you want to change your relationship with clients to give them a perception that you care and are interested in them, simply phone them occasionally and ask “how’s things?”

Then listen intently. Just listen.

In fact you should listen for around 80% of the time (Remember you’ve got 2 ears and 2 eyes which are used for taking information in and 1 mouth for giving it out. A ratio of 80% listening to 20% talking).

And to keep the client’s conversation going as you listen, remember to ask the “W questions”. They are who, when, which, what, why, where and how?

Your clients will sing like canaries.

They’ll tell you about their plans, ideas, problems and about colleagues and competitors. Much of it they would never have thought to tell you about.

For you it means more business or referrals.

So when it’s your turn to talk (your 20%), select something they’ve said and hit them with a big, juicy W.I.I.F.M.

If you do, – 6 out of 10 times it will mean more business for you. And over 50% of the time it will be business (referrals, services they didn’t know you provided) that you never would have gotten.

And here is the script for this fabulous phone call. It is important that you follow it. Nobody should make phone calls without having a script. So let’s imagine that your name is John and the client’s name is Mary:

John says, “Hello Mary, this is John. Mary how’s things?” (And then you shut up and listen).

That’s all there is to it. That’s the “how’s things?” call!

If you only adopt one client loving technique, make sure it’s the “how’s things?” call.

Have a f-a-n-t-a-s-t-i-c day…


Winston Marsh is an Australian marketing Guru. A former President of the Australian Speakers Association and a friend of mine. 
For his work go to  https://www.winstonmarsh.com.au


Below are the links to my complimentary resource library.
If you like any of them, please pass the links on to your friends and colleagues and if you can, “like them” on social media.