Five Listening Secrets When Negotiating, are crucial. As listening is a seriously proactive skill it is critical that you have all your radar, your facilities switched on. In fact, it’s like a radio or a TV. You should have the volume turned up and the brightness turned up so you can pick up all the signals. The sounds and the sights.
Listening means interpreting all the signals.
If Listening means interpreting information and asking continuous questions. Then you need your sensory acuity on full alert. Looking and seeing the body language, the minute gestures and giveaways. Listening and hearing
1 – What is said,
2 – What is not said
3 – The way it is said. The tonality it is said in.
I have always liked the lighthouse story, and despite whether it is true of not it makes a great story and a brilliant point. I first read about it in Steven Covey’s Book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Then after that I heard someone claiming that it wasn’t true. Then someone made a film about it. So who knows. There are many stories told in wise books, even religious books that may or may not have been totally true. However, if they make job and sit up and make people think they have done their job. Creating an “aha” moment.
The foggy lighthouse
The story is said to be based on an actual radio conversation between a U.S. Navy aircraft carrier (U.S.S. Abraham Lincoln) and the Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. (The radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on 10/10/95 authorized by the Freedom of Information Act, Washington). Since denied, which is even more interesting.
It was a foggy evening and shortly after dark, the lookout on the wing of the bridge reported –
“Light, bearing on the standard bow”.
“Is it steady or moving astern” the captain called out
“Steady captain” – which meant the ship was on a dangerous collision course
At that point a radio message came through from the Canadians
Canadians: “Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.”
Americans: “Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision”
Canadians: “Negative. You will have to divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.”
Americans: “This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.”
Canadians: “No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.”
Americans: “THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES’ ATLANTIC FLEET.
WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS.
I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. I SAY AGAIN, THAT’S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.”
The reply came back
“Canadians. “This is a lighthouse – your call”
we can take away from the lighthouse story
- Listen carefully. You will be surprised at what you hear.
- Listen is an anagram of ‘silent’. Listen by remaining silent in your head and with your mouth. Take care with your head chatter.
- Make sure you are listening to what the other person is really saying, the real message.
- Make sure you listen to what is not being said
- If something doesn’t feel right. It probably isn’t right. Trust you intuition.