What can we take from this today? Remember we are surrounded by people who will always tell us we can’t do it, it won’t work – the newspapers tell us what is going wrong. Lets remind ourselves of what is going right, we are doing well. Because the greatest minds on the planet only succeeded because they believed they would.

Today is a to do day, a make it happen day a day for success.  “If it is going to be, its up to me”  Emile Coure

1 – How you think is everything.

2 – Decide on your true dreams and goals; Write down your specific goals and develop a plan to reach them.

3 – Take action; Goals are nothing without action. Don’t be afraid to get started now. Just do it.

4 – Never stop learning; Go back to school or read books. Get training or acquire skills.

5 – Be persistent and work hard; Success is a marathon, not a sprint. Never give up.

6 – Learn to analyze details; Get all the facts, all the input. Learn from your mistakes.

7 – Focus on your time and money; don’t let other people or things distract you.

8 – Don’t be afraid to innovate, be different; following the heard is a sure way to mediocrity.

9 – Deal and communicate with people effectively; No person is an island. Learn to understand and motivate people.

10- Be honest and dependable. Take responsibility.

Derek Arden – from 7 Habits of highly effective people by Steven Covey  15 million copies sold

There’s never been a better time to bag a bargain through a bit of judicious haggling. But, even so, most of us still feel too embarrassed to try. Here arch-haggler Derek Arden, a graduate of Havard Business School and a conference speaker on haggling, tells Tessa Cunningham how to cut a deal.

Read the full article.

What you wear is 95% per of what your audience sees, so make it appropriate. Take particular care with your suit, tie, blouse and shoes – a good rule of thumb is to dress slightly better than your audience. Make sure that you are well groomed (hair, nails etc.).

State

Put yourself in the right state to convey confidence in both your verbal and non-verbal communication during the presentation. An appropriate warm up, with body and voice stretching exercises should be all part of your pre-presentation routine.

First Impressions

In order to build rapport, calm your nerves and acclimatise to the environment, meet as many of the audience as possible beforehand. When you shake hands use an upright handshake (this means that your thumb is pointing upwards), which ensure that you are seen to be on an equal footing with the other person. Your grip should match their grip in terms of firmness. Use a genuine smile and thank them for coming. When you are being introduced stand to one side, out of the limelight. This will enable you to walk forward into the spotlight in a confident positive way at the appropriate moment.

Openness

Audiences don’t warm to, listen to or believe presenters who use closed body language, so make your gestures warm and open. If you are asked a difficult question don’t bluff — any signs of lying or deception will be apparent in your body language. Watch politicians and model the best.

Posture

Upright posture gives you confidence and conveys a confident authority to your audience. If you are in a small group you may decide to sit down from time-to-time — for effect and to gain rapport — don’t sit for very long. Avoid using lecterns unless it is a very formal presentation with lots of technical content. If you do have to use a lectern, make sure you move away from it to make key points. If you are using PowerPoint, keep it fast and energetic. If you are not sure why a slide is on the screen your body language will give you away. Try to examine the point of each slide you use and see if you can dispense with it.

Audience body language

Take note of the body language of the audience and respond to it. This will enable you to keep their energy positive and their learning level high. If, for example, more than 10% of people have their arms crossed, maybe its time for a re-energising exercise or a coffee break. But, be careful not to misread individual gestures; some people can look sceptical when they are evaluating what the presenter has said.

Confidence

As a member of the Professional Speaker’s Association you would expect to have your material well researched and presented. Make sure you are also properly prepared with regard to equipment, personal items and timings. Always have a back up for anything that can go wrong and don’t rely on key equipment being supplied.

Derek Arden explains why and reveals strategies for overcoming the fear of asking for what you want.

(This article was first published in the Chartered Institute of Bankers Journal)

THERE IS MORE to successful business negotiation than simply putting your case or request and waiting hopefully for a positive answer. Preparation, an understanding of the negotiating environment and a confident disposition will make the whole procedure work more effectively for you and might even be enjoyable.

You may have already experienced different negotiating scenarios. These can vary from confrontational ‘take it or leave it’ situations to Tony Blair’s jackets off, first names only, round the table, approach.

One very good way of improving your negotiation skills and overcoming any fears you might have is by appealing to your legitimate self interest.

A five-year study of delegates attending a senior management course at Henley Management College, revealed that managers with high-calibre negotiating skills earned 100 per cent more than their peers. The reasons for this are obvious and twofold.

You either bump up your salary through persuasive bargaining techniques, or you receive indirect financial reward as a result of the long-term benefits secured by you and your team on behalf of your company.

There are four basic outcomes for the parties involved in any negotiation strategy:

• win / win
• win / lose
• lose / win
• lose / lose

In today’s world of global alliances and local mutuality, the first outcome, where everybody wins, is the most desirable and therefore the most commonly sought.

Your Position

But first things first. It is important to assess your own negotiating abilities and your attitude to the process. Do you enjoy the cut and thrust of negotiation, or do you find it too confrontational by half?

It is important to remember to depersonalise the process, not to the extent that you appear cold and indifferent but to enable you to keep in mind the fact that the objective is to secure a potentially lasting business relationship; a case of separating the people from the problem.

If you fail to prepare, then you prepare to fail. There is no substitute for thorough research prior to the meeting, especially when you are part of (or even leading) a negotiating team. The most successful negotiators will, on average, spend at least 10 times more time on preparation than less experienced hands.

It is important to establish your most favourable position, your walk-away position and the likely stance of those you will be talking to. What intangible items you may be prepared to trade during the course of discussion should also be determined.

For complex negotiations it is advisable to role-play potential scenarios first. This will give you and your team a better idea of how to conduct yourselves and of how to respond to tough questions or demands.

Phrasing the question

How you ask a question is just as important as what you ask. Open questions should be used where possible: what, who, when, and so on. If possible, avoid prefacing a question with “why”. If you ask what the reason is rather than why, you are much less likely to get a negative reaction. The recipient of the question won’t be forced on the defensive and may give more information away as a result.

Avoid making statements, especially those which you may be called upon to substantiate there and then. Even if you can prove your point, by being categorical you risk an “escalation of confrontationality”, as the Americans say.

Listen up

Good negotiators are also good listeners. The key is to listen to what the other person is really saying rather than thinking so far ahead that you miss important information . In general, people speak at around 200 words a minute but can think at 2,000 words a minute — although you may have met some people where it seems the reverse is true.

As well as listening to what is being said, you need to listen to how it is being said, and with what accompanying gestures. You may think the body language is an unimportant component but a skilled negotiator will appreciate the inference of tone and gesture; in other words, what isn’t said. Recent research goes so far as to suggest that 55 per cent of the information received and perceived during any encounter is visual.

Empathy

This may sound like a curious concept to discuss in the context of business negotiation, but to ignore it entirely would be foolish . Empathy in this context is about understanding what the other parties, objectives are. By not correctly assessing needs and wants, conflict can arise out of silly misunderstandings:

The story of two people fighting over one orange effectively illustrates this point. Both want the orange for their own purposes but do not initially tell one another what those purposes are.

After the orange has been squashed to a pulp in the struggle, it transpires that one of the two wanted to squeeze the orange to make juice, while the other wanted the peel to make marmalade. If they had fully discussed each other’s needs first, both would have got what they wanted.

The point is that although you may feel you understand the situation, everyone’s perception is different and it is this that must be remembered whenever you sit down at the conference table.

Empathy can be achieved in a number of ways, including social meetings and team discussions before the negotiation proper. The use of humour, where appropriate, is always a good idea in that it shows that you are human.

Empathy also helps you to anticipate the tactical moves that might arise out of a negotiating situation. This obviously stems from a perceived better understanding of the two parties; you and them.

Tactics

What else are tactics about if they are not about the means of altering the perception of power in a bargaining scenario?

This does not mean that you should be unethical. It is merely a way of encouraging a particular view or a line of discussion to prevail. You will of course, be on the lookout for any tactics being employed on you. Sometimes, by correctly identifying a strategy and making it known, you can neutralise it or turn it to your own advantage. It is also important that you brief your team on the tactics you intend to employ and the part each member is to play.

Bargaining

This is always a tricky area. Give away nothing and the other party will think you are Arthur Scargill, give away too much and you will be condemned for ever more as a soft touch with a generous heart and an empty wallet.

An effective strategy is to reduce the expectations of the opposing team early on, thus making any concessions or offers you do make seem much more attractive. Never accept the first offer, even if it is exactly the deal you are looking for. Your haste may create distaste — and that is just on your own side. And if concessions must be made, do so graciously and at least create the impression that you have in no way compromised or inconvenienced yourself or your colleagues.

Be creative

Tried and tested solutions to negotiating stumbling blocks are well and good but that should not stop you exploring other avenues that may be without precedent. New ideas will come out of brainstorming processes, which should be engaged in both before the scheduled meeting and during time outs.

Think outside the box. Try not to reject proposals outright, no matter how absurd they might seem. Remember, Leonardo da Vinci’s idea for a helicopter, though initially ridiculed, caught on eventually.

Have confidence

A nervous lead negotiator is likely to achieve very little. You will only succeed in boosting the confidence of your opposite number(s) and unnerving your own side. Rigorous coaching and even videoing of role-playing sessions will all help in the preparation of a calm and collected exterior, even if your insides are churning like a cement mixer.

There are a number of breathing and visualisation techniques that can be employed to calm and relax you. Slow, regular, deep breaths always help, as does filling your mind with images of blue whales or waves gently lapping Caribbean shores.

And remember, if you look your best, you will feel your best. Well, perhaps that’s not always the case, especially when you are waiting in a crowded lobby, the air conditioning is up the spout and, beneath your expensive jacket, your shirt or blouse is sticking to your back like a wet flannel. At least you will look good in the eyes of your opponents. First impressions do last.

You are not alone

It is unlikely that any serious senior-level negotiation will take place between just two people. The information and situations discussed will often be too complex for one mind to deal with, so having a team within which the divisions of labour are clearly identified is essential.

The size and scope of your team will obviously depend upon the size of your company and the subjects under discussion.

Telephone negotiations

Not all business matters are settled face to face. Sometimes it is inconvenient for a meeting to take place due to location or time constraints. A telephone discussion can therefore be next best option or, indeed, be simply a tactic employed by either side as a means of defining their position towards the negotiation. Either way, it requires a different approach.

Without the benefit of being able to observe the other person’s body language, your empathic listening skills will assume an even greater importance. For this reason, use a speaker phone where possible so that your colleagues can listen in and offer input where appropriate. Ensure at the outset, however, that the other party knows you are doing this and who you have in the room with you.

Concentration is the key. To this end ensure that your phone conversation is in private, away from any distractions — even the slightest interruption could mean that you miss something vital.

Listen to everything. If the person with whom you are dealing is concealing something or is unsure of themselves, they will give this away in ‘aural clues’, such as a slowing of speech, slight hesitations or a change in pitch. Silence is a powerful tool in face-to-face and telephone conversations, although it is a little more difficult to use this tactic in the latter.

To wrap it up

Regardless of what jobs we do, we are all negotiators, both at work and in our personal lives. The skills and techniques outlined above are inherent within all of us; it merely requires practice and discipline to make them work effectively.

Your career, your family life, even just a trip to an antique market can be transformed if you know how to negotiate effectively. We all want the best deal in every aspect of our lives. Hopefully, the above strategies will help you in the pursuit of that goal.

Copies of this article may be reproduced with permission of the author.

There are many techniques that can be used to assist creativity — for example, brainstorming, mindstorming, mindmappimg (to name just a few).

These techniques all stimulate the right side of the brain and then feed the ideas back into the left side to enable a proper evaluation. The right side of the brain is most influential in coming up with creative ideas and solutions.

The brain is divided into 2 parts, the left side and the right side. It is joined by the corpus callosum — some 200 miles of neurological connections that makes some of the key connections in our brain. It was only 25 years ago that Dr Richard Sperry, a British neuro-surgeon, discovered some of the intricacies of the separate sides of the brain when he was working with people with epileptic difficulties.

Some of the greatest brains in the world, including Leonardo da Vinci, Albert Einstein and Thomas Edison, all had the ability to be both very focused on left and right brain. Da Vinci, for example, was both a great mathematician and a great artist. He drew pictures of helicopters that took another 450 years to come to fruition. Edison knew that a technique to access the right brain, at a deeper sub-conscious level, meant you had to go into a calm meditative state where the brainwaves slow down to around 10-14 per second. This is called alpha state, which also happens when we are just going to sleep or just waking up. Edison used to sit in a chair holding a stone, do deep breathing exercises and meditate. The stone allowed him not to fall asleep as if he did the stone would fall to the ground.

There are many creative techniques, which will stimulate the right side of the brain. Some of these techniques are:

1. Brainstorming.

There are some simple rules to follow:

• There should be a scribe who should write the question to be brainstormed clearly so everybody can see.
• All the ideas, the more wacky the better, should be written on flip charts, post its, white cards that should be positioned so everyone can see them. They can be moved around to form connections.
• There must be no criticism or comments on any of the ideas; people must be encouraged to say whatever comes into their head.
• The ambiance must be friendly; there must be no interruptions.
• At the end of the pre-allocated time, the ideas can then and only then looked at and either brainstormed further, put in order and evaluated.

2. Mind storming.

• Place the question you want answering at the top of an A4 piece of paper.
• Then write down all the ideas that come into your mind, however wacky.
• Keep going until you have 20 answers. It gets very difficult at around 12 but you must not give up.
• Then take the ideas and place them in order.

3. Journal.

• Write a question you want answering in a book, on a piece of paper and carry it around with you, place it by the side of your bed.
• You relax and wait for the answer to come to you. It doesn’t matter if it takes days or weeks.

4. Mind mapping.

• Take a piece of A3 or A4 paper and turn it landscape.
• Write the idea that you want answers to in the centre — you take branches out on the heading and then the sub headings come off of the main branches.
• Draw pictures wherever possible and you always use different colours for the various branches.
• This is a fantastic way to come up with the structure of a report, book or talk that you are going to do. The same principle is used for a spider diagram but by using colours and pictures it is more effective because it accesses the right brain more effectively.

Finally, I want to encourage you to use all your ability to be creative. These techniques work best when you are at your best. It is difficult to get access to the right brain when you are tired, stressed or overloaded. This is why sometimes people wake up in the middle of the night with an answer to a problem or an idea comes to them in the shower as they are waking up. Write the solution down as soon as you can, because it can be difficult to remember these inspirational ideas, minutes later.

Therefore to ensure you are creative, take breaks from your work every 55 minutes. Go out and get some fresh air, look at the trees, listen to the birds, smell the flowers, taste some natural fruit. Drink water rather than caffeine.

To conclude, use the techniques I have mentioned above. Always carry a notebook with you to write down those ideas when they unexpectedly come to you. The greatest brains that I mention above always did, so model the experts. If it worked for them, it will work for you.

My research over 20 years has led me to these skills that I use for maximum benefits of my business consultancy and coaching clients.

NLP — “The study of human excellence, demonstrating how to communicate effectively and influence others.”

Neuro: Relates to the way the brain works and what happens in your mind.
Linguistic: Relates to language and the way you use it.
Programming: Relates to patterns of behaviour learnt by repetition.

Four Key Principles

1. Rapport — with yourself, others, body language, speed and pace of communications.
2. Outcomes — focusing on the outcomes that you want.
3. Senses — actively using sight, hearing, feelings, touch, smell and taste.
4. Flexibility — in approach to situations, to create new perspectives.

Modelling — Fundamental to NLP is modelling excellence.

Modelling excellence involves finding out how someone does something well and copying that excellence. From birth, children copy their parents and replicate what they do. So beware, parents.

Presuppositions of NLP (NLP presupposes the following)

1. The map is not the territory — my mental map of the world is different to yours.
2. You have within yourself all the resources you need to achieve what you want.
3. Every behaviour has a positive intention.
4. There is no failure, only feedback.
5. The meaning of communication is the response it elicits.

Your brain…

Weighs the equivalent of 1.5 bags of sugar.
Is 80% water, 10% fat, 8% protein.
Contains 10-15 billion neurons (brain cells) and the body generates 1000 new ones each day.

The Mind and Body are Inter-connected — if you affect one, you affect the other.

Recent research in the area of psycho-neuro-immunology has shown that the immune system is linked to brain activity. Mental stress can inhibit the performance of the immune system, reducing your ability to combat illness. Thoughts are transmitted through your body by neuro transmitters. These chemicals transmit messages between the brain and the rest of your body, so in effect your body is expressing your thinking. When you feel good in yourself, you have a better chance of remaining healthy. Conversely, when you are feeling unhappy or depressed your immune system will be depleted.

The Habit Virus — The Pike Syndrome

If you do something often enough, you will believe it is true. Make sure it is positive and you are in control. In an experiment, Pike fish were put in a tank with a transparent barrier between the Pike and food. After a while the barrier was taken away — however the Pike never attempted to get the food because they believed that it was not worth trying. They starved.

Re-wiring your brain

Fold your arms and notice which arm is on the top. You have probably putting that arm on top all your life. Fold your arms the other way and see how it feels. The more you repeat this exercise the more new brain pathways you will set up to make this feel normal. Keep doing things differently.

Unconscious Mind — brain’s response to negatives

The brain has no understanding what is real and what is imagined, and does not process negative words directly — it deletes negatives and works more efficiently with positive commands. The brain ignores the word “don’t” in a sentence and has to process what follows before it can imagine not doing it. For example, if you say “Don’t think of a blue tree,” your mind has to think about a blue tree.

Mirroring and Matching — from the work of Milton Erikson

Words, tone, and body language — people feel drawn to people who are like them. If they hear the same language, voice tonality and see similar mannerisms to themselves they are much more likely to think you are like them — and are much more likely to like you!

Chunk sizes

Your mind can deal with around seven plus or minus two bits of information at any one time. People get overwhelmed when they have more. Chunking information into bite size chunks help retention and memory.

The ability to chunk information up and down is “the essence of sanity” and avoids the brain being overwhelmed with the multitude of information that there is today.

Language filters

1. Deletion — being selective about some of the information. Leaving out some facts — a good example is politicians’ speeches.
2. Distortion — creating a meaning that may not be true. “Someone is laughing, they are laughing at me…”Generalisation — with generalisations, you unconsciously develop rules, which may or not be true. “All people on social security are lazy…”

Words often include — all, never, every, always.
E.g. “I always catch colds at Christmas.”

What do these words have in common? They lack evidence and proof!

Your inner voice

Your inner voice can be very powerful and rather loud. It links to your unconscious mind and provides important messages and answers to problems. Acknowledge what your inner voice is saying and then ask yourself:

• Is this a helpful thought? What would be a more positive thought?
• Does my inner voice have a warning/message that I need to be aware of?
• Is there a positive reason/intention behind the message from my inner voice?

Every thought in your mind is passed around the body by neuro transmitters; being aware of your inner voice can provide the answers to issues. Look for the positive intentions behind your thoughts.

Accessing your skills — Beliefs used in NLP

We have all the resources we need; we just need to learn how to access them to achieve excellence.

You cannot teach a person anything. You can only help them discover it within themselves.

“If you want one year of prosperity, grow seeds. If you want 10 years of prosperity, grow trees. If you want 100 years of prosperity grow people.” – Chinese proverb.

Enabling and limiting beliefs

“Whether you think you can or you think you can’t you are probably right” — Henry Ford.

When people say they can’t, add the word “YET” to the end of their sentence — “I can’t do that YET.”

Words to take care with

BUT — Negates anything before it.
SHOULD — Creates pressure and possibly a sense of guilt.
DON’T — Leads the brain to associate with a negative first.
TRY — Carries the expectation that failure may happen.
WHY? — Implies that you need to justify something. Alternatively use HOW?

Anchors

An anchor is a stimulus, which reminds you of events and can change your state positively or negatively.

The stimulus can involve all or any of the senses (e.g. something you see, hear, feel, taste or smell) and can be internal or external.

An internal anchor is generated in your mind, e.g. as you remember a visual image which evokes certain feelings. An external anchor can be triggered when, for example, you hear a piece of music which reminds you of a lovely holiday or experience.

Often anchors will be triggered by other people or outside stimuli, and you will be left in a negative state without knowing it. Having an awareness of this will enable you to recognise what’s happened to you and immunise yourself from these people; not allowing them to give you their toxic waste. Negative anchors are often triggered by TV, news broadcasts, newspapers, etc.

When to use anchors

When you feel unhappy or in a negative frame of mind, you can create a more resourceful state by triggering positive anchors in your mind and your body.

Anchors to create positive feelings

• A favourite piece of music.
• An aroma/smell — fresh coffee, perfume, aftershave.
• An outdoor scene — peaceful garden, outdoor scene, mountain.
• A memory of something you did really well — when you were at your best.
• A special holiday destination.
• A favourite item of clothing.
• A lucky charm — that is special to you.

Use all your senses — to create positive anchors.

Kinaesthetic: Placing your thumbs and middle finger together, watch Tony Blair do this.

Auditory: Using a piece of music, phrase (“Fantastic!”), a sound, finger click.

Visual: A colour, a positive image, a beach scene, a success.

Olfactory: An aroma that you associate with success.

Gustatory: A taste that boosts your spirits.

Sporting example — Johnny Wilkinson during the Rugby World Cup in 2003. To get to his ultimate resourceful state, he placed his hands together in a particular way.

List your positive anchors…

Associating – Disassociating

Associating: To be more enthusiastic — to be in the situation — see it through your own eyes.

Disassociating: To be less involved and less emotional — see it as if you were in a picture you are looking at… To relieve stressful situations.

Be the cause not the effect — be the dog, not the tree.

Reticular Activation System (RAS)

The part of the brain that focuses you on what you want. As the brain cannot process negatives very well, be careful always to reframe what you want into the positive. “I don’t want to catch a cold,” versus, “I am staying healthy.”

Goal setting

A Harvard survey showed that 20 years later, people who had set clearly defined goals had 97% of the wealth, and they were only 3% of the students. The secret is to imagine the goal as having been achieved by using the present tense. The RAS focuses you on what you want.

Timeline

We all have an imaginary timeline. If we were to access something in the past, we would either imagine it was behind us or in front of us in one direction or the other.

Close your eyes and point to where the past is. Now point to where the future is. That is your time line.

Now imagine it is 12 months ahead of where we are today and you have achieved all your goals. What does it feel like, what do you look like, how does that voice in your head sound?

Relaxing — accessing alpha brain waves

There are a number of ways of relaxing, fast, accessing the creative right side of your brain.

1. Accessing your Peripheral vision.
2. Putting your tongue just behind your top front teeth.
3. Closing your eyes, looking upwards with your eyes shut.

Nested loops — For use when telling stories, metaphors.

You tell one story and then go to a second story and then revert back to the first story. This has an effect of reinforcing both stories on the unconscious mind.

Positive language

Strangely there are three times more negative words in the English language than positive words. Look at the effect positive words have on you rather than negative words, internally and externally.

Superb, sensational, awesome, unbelievable, fantastic, fabulous, marvellous, wonderful, terrific, tremendous, dynamic, brilliant.

Double bind – Used as a motivational force for yourself or others.

It is used to give an illusory freedom of choice between two possibilities. Do you want to go to bed at 7:45 or 8:00? Would you like the car in red or blue? Do you want to go into a trance now or later?

Yes tag questions

• That’s right, isn’t it?
• It’s a beautiful day, isn’t it?
• News broadcast are 94% negative, aren’t they?

Words that have a curious double meaning

ASSumptions
GeneraLIESations
Buy now — Like ME — you will have found
nEGOtiations
reLATEionSHIPS
transACTIONal

InCANtations

“Every day, in every way, I am getting better.” — Émile Coué 1913).

Paradoxical Intention

By thinking the opposite and trying really hard, you confuse the brain. For example, if you can’t sleep at night, really try and stay awake and see what happens; you will fall asleep.

– Victor Frankel

4 stages to learning new skills – such as NLP

How thoughts affect your destiny

Thoughts become words
Words become actions
Actions become habits
Habits become you
You are your destiny.

Whose life is it anyway?

Most people understand how to programme their DVD better than programming their brain.

Are you programming your brain — or are you letting outside influences, people, TV, Media etc programme it full of rubbish for you?

Recommended reading

• Change your Life in 7 Days — Paul McKenna
• Think and Grow Rich — Napoleon Hill
• Unlimited Power — Tony Robbins
• Mans Search for Meaning — Viktor Frankel
• Influence Science and Practice — Robert Cialdini
• The Luck Factor — Richard Wiseman
• How to be Brilliant — Michael Hepple
• Wake Your Mind Up — The Mind Gym

Thought provokers

• Every problem is an opportunity.
• Who are you letting programme you brain?
• Have you got your ladder up against the right wall?
• It you always do what you have always done you will always get what you have always got.
• Go out and make a difference.
• Most people know more about programming their DVD than they do about programming their brain.
• Stressed trees make the strongest wood.
• Be the cause — not someone else’s effect.
• “We must be the change we want to see.” — Gandhi.
• “It’s not what happens it’s what we do about it that makes the difference.” — Nelson Mandela.
• “Do not wait, the time will never be right. Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your disposal.” — Napoleon Hill.
• You become what you think about.
• Words create pictures.
• Ideas without action are worthless.
• Ships in harbours are safe — but that’s not what ships are for.
• A plane is off course for 95% of its flight.
• When you are green you grow — when you are ripe you rot.
• The grass is greener where it is watered.
• E+R=O (Event plus Reaction = Outcome).
• When you sow you reap.
• When you learn you earn.

SCORE Model

Symptoms: What is it that you want to change?
Causes: The root of the problem — where it came from?
Outcomes: Your goal — what you want.
Resources: What is required to solve the problem?
Effects: What will you do differently in the future?

In the US, people who accept the asking price are called “Lay downs” by the motor trade and are considered suckers.

Always expect to receive a discount. If you go into a buying situation not expecting to get a discount, you will not get one. Be positive and you’ll be amazed how easy it is when you ask the right questions.

Tip 1

Build rapport but do not make a friend. Blunt or aggressive negotiation will not work. Rarely does a car seller need your purchase so badly that they will tolerate rudeness. Chat to them and be warm whilst looking at the car. But do not get too friendly or feel sorry for the seller, because you want to get a good deal.

Tip 2

Ask for a discount without being embarrassed. Tell the sales person, “I would love to buy this car, but my wife/husband will go nuts if I pay this price. What can you do to help me?”

It does not necessarily matter if your partner does not mind what you pay — or even that you do not have a partner. This is called using higher authority. It means that you can remain on good terms with the seller, but still push for a better deal. It makes the seller more inclined to move on price.

Tip 3

Never accept the first offer. It makes the salesman think he has offered too much — but he still has more discount to give. Whatever they offer say, “That helps, but I’m still not sure I could face my partner.”

Or, “Surely you can do better than that?”

Tip 3

Use the power of silence. If the salesman makes you an offer, or you have asked him to improve his offer, resist the temptation to speak. Just wait. For several minutes if necessary. The silence will be painful for you, but more painful for the salesman. Eventually he will crack and start to offer you ‘sweeteners’ to close the deal.

Tip 4

Know your prices. When dealing with garages, make sure you know what’s on offer at other garages in the area. Many will match the offers of their competitors, so you just have to ask, “Will you match your competitor’s prices?” The Used Car Locator and Car Data Search will be invaluable in helping you know your prices.

Tip 5

Ask garages for added value. If you have exhausted the potential discount options, ask the garage for bonus items. For example say, “The stereo’s not very good and all the mats need replacing.”

Tip 6

Let go of the emotion. It is hard not to be excited when buying a car. But you need to let go or you will not be able to negotiate the best deal. Always tell yourself, “There will be another car that is just as good, or maybe even better.”

Tip 7

Ask questions in garages:

• “How’s business?”
  • If it is good, say, “Oh well I was hoping to get a deal, but I’ll leave it.”
  • If it is bad, say, “Well, if I can the right price, you might get a sale today.”
• “How can you help me get the price down?”
• “When will there be a special offer on? I can come back.”
• “Who has the authority to make decisions on discounts?”

Ask questions of private sellers:

• “Why do you want to sell?”
• “How quickly do you want to sell?”
• “What can you do on the price please?”

Tip 8

Start low and concede reluctantly. If you can afford £5,000, offer less so that you have room to move. If they baulk at your offer, stay calm and ask, “What would you accept?”

Then, pretend to baulk yourself, perhaps even wince. And make another offer.

Tip 9

If a seller thinks you are friendly but savvy, they will tell you the truth. So find a useful fact from the Times Online Car Clinic or a buyers’ guide to use as a question — even though you will know the answer. For example, “Should the car have had a cam belt change?”

You will be able to tell how trustworthy they are by the answer they give. DO NOT act smart and say, “This car should have had its cam belt changed by now!” This will put the seller’s back up and they will not tell you the useful information you need.

Tip 10

Avoid splitting the difference (or ‘meeting in the middle’).If you offer to split the difference the sales person will split it again, which means you have moved 75 per cent of the way towards their price and they have only moved 25 per cent towards you.

If the sales person offers to split the difference, say, “I cannot do that, but I’ll meet you half way between my offer and the offer you just made.”

Tip 11

If the seller will not agree to the price that you want, walk out — but before you walk out, get the salesperson’s email address. Two things can happen here. Firstly, they may chase you back into the office to negotiate, or secondly it gives you the option to email the salesperson (always do this when they are not in the office — say overnight) and say, for example, “If you can come down by another £500, call me by 10:30am and I will come in and pay my deposit.” This puts you in control of the buying process. This has worked for me twice in the last 3 years, and I saved £4000.

Closing the Deal

After the negotiation:

• Pay a deposit of £100-£150 and get a written receipt, stating the price, car details and seller’s particulars.

When you return to collect the car:

• Pay the balance by bank cheque (simply ask your bank for a bank cheque to buy a car).
• Ensure you have the V5 log book (filled out by the seller to confirm the sale) and a bill of sale before you drive away.

On page 162 of Derek Arden’s splendid Presenting Phenomenally — How to succeed at presenting (Tiptree House Publishing, £14.97), a quote can be found from Louis Pasteur, who boasted the invention of penicillin on his CV, amongst other accomplishments. “Chance favours the prepared mind,” it says.

Arden certainly has one of those. His comprehensive guide to speaking, presenting and influencing leaves no stone unturned in its quest to help the reader learn and gain confidence quickly. The latter features as one of the book’s most pertinent themes — you only have to read the blurb on the back cover to find out that public speaking is our number one fear, nudging nervously ahead of the Grim Reaper, no less, and from the outset Arden attempts to shift our focus onto the many techniques we can employ to conquer our abashment and thus avoid knee-knack in the process.

But this book will teach you more than how to visualise your audience naked. After all, to indulge in a bit of number-crunching for a moment, Arden has been in the business for over 20 years, as head of relationship and sales management at Barclays and latterly with his own management consultancy. Only 37 people in the UK can match his qualifications. He has spoken in 27 countries worldwide, negotiated in 35 and his eight publications — including 112 Handy Haggling Hints – have been read by, well, a vast number.

ACE members will be familiar with Derek’s work as he has presented at many ACE seminars over the years and has also worked closely with a number of consultancy and engineering firms training their staff. This unparalleled experience is partly why Presenting Phenomenally is of invaluable benefit.
Intended as a reference resource rather than a switch-your-phone-off-and-lock-the-doors page turner, Arden’s ninth book drives you logically through each stop on the route to proficiency. Preparation, impression management, building self-confidence and visual aids are all dealt with before half-way is reached, and the book masterfully avoids becoming a trashy self-help manual, always lending constructive technical guidance (as in the section devoted to PowerPoint) but still injecting self-belief and just a spoonful of sugar — if you are not yet starting to believe in your presenting powers by the time the topic of body language is tackled, perhaps the visualising naked trick would be best for you after all. With “top top tips”, checklists, FAQ’s and even the odd page for your own notes, Arden really has thought of everything.

He also handles telephone and electronic presentations and, although jargon is considerately sparse throughout, even the glossary is well thought-out.
“Very few people are good at listening,” Arden tells us in section four. By the time you have absorbed this engaging and enlightening book, your audience will have no choice but to listen to you, whether they are naked or not.

Arden, who was in Doha at the invitation of the International Bank of Qatar (IBQ) said there were much larger stakes in something like peace negotiations, for example, as opposed to business dealings where money and perhaps jobs are involved.

Body language is also an important aspect that should be taken into account. “Globally, something like the folding of the arms is a defensive gesture. Arms open pretty much means ‘yes’ throughout the world,” he said.

Though there are some gestures that are globally recognisable, some others may be peculiar to a country or region. So, should a businessman and his team head to Japan to strike up a deal, it would be best advised to have someone who knows the lay of the land or even have them meet the team at the airport itself, said Arden.

He highlighted the banging of the shoe by Nikita Khruschev at the UN which would be seen as an insult in most parts of the world. Nevertheless, it is a gesture still remembered way down the line.

With salaries being a key issue in a place like Qatar, what with the rising cost of living, Arden advises that the secret for an employee to get a raise is to prove oneself indispensable to the organisation. A good employee can be lost by a company and once outside groups find out that a hard worker is available due to dissatisfaction with pay, he or she will be immediately headhunted, said Arden.

Speaking of sports negotiations where agents notoriously play a key role, he said interested parties often bring the media on board, to ‘help’ a particular side, a tactic called ‘megaphone negotiations’.

He gave the example of Barcelona and Brazil superstar Ronaldinho, who English Premier League side Chelsea was ready to sign. Megaphone negotiations to a great extent helped raise the possible transfer fee from £35m to around £70m. Perhaps as a consequence, Ronaldinho continues to ply his trade in Spain while Chelsea sits wondering what happened.

The key to any negotiation is that people should be prepared and must ask the right questions. “Often they do not listen to what people are saying or what they are not saying,” said Arden.

A clear case of needing to read between the lines.